THE TERRAN INSURANCE POLICY
TAC is watching you. Keep up the good work.
Charley is walking to a show. Charley doesn’t know why. Charley can’t do anything. Charley isn’t charley. Charley hasn’t been Charley for many months but Charley doesn’t know this. Charley’s therapist thinks he is suffering from a concussion which is making him act strange. Charley broke up with his girlfriend. Charley started gambling and seeking risky behavior. Charley was fired after being caught jacking off at work to a pic of Ryan Reynolds. Charley just does what he feels like and he’s going to get in trouble. But Charley isn’t there to care. Something else is. And he is walking to a show at Zanzabar in Louisville, KY. He knows why he is here. To see a band that says on their flyer to “Fight the Counter Schwa!” There is a sexy crowd waiting to get inside the bar. An outwardly uneventful store front on a boring corner but inside its pinball heaven and a classic rocking bar scene. He hates earthlings. He hates them as he ponders their different skin and social culture. He fits in though because he looks like these people. Too much chaos comes from their happiness he thinks. Their joy causes a nauseous feeling down his back as he pays the five dollar cover charge and walks in. The contrast of darkness and shiny lights disorients him and the sound of the music was already screaming in his ear. On stage he saw what he knew was no earthling. The dashing singer clad in a black fighter helmet with a red star and a long Geiger like tail attached was dancing wildly while singing – “I’d love to know what deep blue thinks of itself and the world around it. Never expected it to be this way. Man wrestled with machine. I now I feel like crying, as I fade into my deep blue funk.” The guitar cord hit a note that seemed to twitch his spine again. What was this person he thought? The bar was packed and by now smelled like lusty sweat. So he walked toward the opening to the outside part of the bar and could swear the singer watched him move the whole way. He stops by the end of the bar and continued to watch the band while over in his head he tried to realize why the singer seemed so familiar. Was he another contractor playing some game? Did they really know about the counter-Schwa or were they just a joke. Some college kids taking obscene ancient conspiracies and running with it? But then the singer said a word not to be spoken by the counter-Schwa. He heard the singer say “Tonight is brought to you by the Terran Action Committee.” He had to sit on the stool as his legs shook and quickly finished his drink before ordering another. He then listened as the singer read a prose poem about the history of the universe and how after it was created by the then unknown Schwa, the universe became a conscious entity and began to be a huge asshole to the developing early civilizations. To stop the experiment from going to shit the Schwa stepped in and tried to lobotomize the universe but its followers who benefitted from its oppression resisted – while the followers of freedom were led by the Terrans. The Terrans not only helped defeat the conscious universe and its allies but they also saved the Schwa from the inner betrayal of the Counter-Schwa who wanted to live in the experiment like kings with the knowledge to rule their worlds forevermore. The Schwa could not stay uninvolved and revealed themselves to the inhabitants of the first two waves of the universe as the creators and tried to undo the damage of the U.C. for two centuries before leaving the universe to itself again. But the growing secret of the counter-Schwa had to stop this knowledge from becoming universal fact. So on planet Odin they held court and tried to kill their brothers and at the same time, the old UC allies planned a fatal blow to the planet Terra. In the end, planet Terra and all Terrans were destroyed and the Schwa were believed to have died in the Odin explosion. But the remaining 23 Schwa along with the 223 Terrans that had faked their deaths and escaped into a new realm of the Schwa. Here they can watch the universe in secret and help balance the direct influence of the counter-Schwa. For their sacrifice and to protect the remaining Terrans, they were placed 3 waves out from the closest civilized wave of the universe. Here they could be hidden for millions of years in a solar system far from the reach of the counter-Schwa. And the Terrans did live in relative peace for a long time. But that’s all you get to know for now” said the singer abruptly and they broke into a new song. He was mortified, stone faced, and the air seemed still. And then again the singer looked straight at him. This time with a wicked smile as he continued to prance about the stage with that red star on his black helmet. He felt it was time to go. A sense of paranoia reverberated with the drum beat. He laid 10 dollars on the bar and stood up when she walked in front of him. This beautiful female with long straight black hair with soft slick jawline, huge dark eyes and tight black lips. She was holding a vaporizer which clearly had cannabis in it. He didn’t like marijuana at all and whenced back quickly. “What’s wrong honey – can’t handle my cherry bomb?” She then inhaled a long drag then French inhaled like a witch and blew it all into his face. He saw spots and began to hear the nitrous side of reality. He couldn’t talk and he felt like Charley does as she took his hand and lead him to a back corner in the outside area. He could not understand anything as the nitrous effect continued to get worse. She pushed him into the corner seat of a bench and said, “Sit there SCUMB till the show’s over.” She sat down beside him and smoked from her vaporizer and blew smoke his way and casually made confusing statements about his situation like, “You’re going to be my glow bug.” Even in his paralyzed mental state he was able to ponder a “what the hell is she saying.” But he didn’t last long and began to drool and did so thru the next 5 songs. He thought about passing out but already had two songs ago. His body was still tingling with that bloody nitrous feeling when he came to. Still sitting in the same spot outside as dawn began to break the night’s curtain. He was afraid and felt alone even though 3 people stood before him. The enchanted woman, the singer, now dressed in formal military like uniform and still wearing his helmet, and a taller business looking type with cool glasses and dark hair. He was ready to choke on the moment but caught his breath and said, “What did she do to me? Where is everyone?” A second was wasted then the singer said, “Well it’s morning and everyone has gone home. She hit you with a certain strain of cannabis that paralyzes SCUPs like you.” scup, scup? What’s a scup? You guys are fucked up? The singer held up his hands half way up. “Ok. Ok. We are going to get this done quick so all we need from you is to tell us what you are, who contracted you, and for what. You can do that can’t you?” He was really scared now because he just realized he was setup. He knows they know he has a secret. And he also realized he is in the presence of the new Terran who was mentioned in his scope of work. And if this is the new Terran then the woman is the Terran Witch-Atari. She controls magic of all varieties and is feared throughout the southern realm of the Universe and the tall one he doesn’t know. “That’s Chris,” Atari said as if she read his mind, “And you’re going to reveal your secret.” “Why would I do that?” he said. “Because you want to,” Chris replied and then moved closer to the bench and sat down. “People feel better after they tell me their secrets. It’s always secrets they don’t want and most always want to be rid of it. It’s like when you’re dirty and sweaty from hiding your secret then you put on new clothes but don’t take a shower. There’s that dirty smell that still sticks with you. Sometimes you smell it and think do others smell it: my secret.” Chris looked directly at him, “What do you smell?“ He took in a deep breath and could smell something musky that wasn’t there before-something sooty and rotten. He felt immediately repulsed and addicted to the smell that seemed to surround him. And then he began to cry terribly, “What is your secret?” Chris asked sternly. He raised his head from his hands with snot running from his eyes and nose. “I’m a scup!” he screamed. I’m a Delfoid Particle from the Tezz zone. He was crying uncontrollably and shaking. “Go on.” The singer said in a get this over with tone. “I was contracted to deconstruct Charley’s life and push him to suicide by the green ones, the lizard looking fuckers. “The Gremlins,” said Atari, “Counter-Schwa bitches.” “Why Charley?” Chris asked in a calm comforting voice. “He’s an engineering student who is on the right track to making a mechanism that creates variable energy fields inside a stable structure of some… I’m not sure…” Atari looked at Commander Red as he said something under his breath and then she moved closer to the Scup. “What are you going to do to me?” he cried. She raised up her arms and made the sign for Mannaz as light green smoke floated off her fingertips with her right hand and held the book Algiz with her left. Then she read, “Out with trespasses and unwanted influence. You are a spiritual warrior whose battle is always with the self. Remain mindful that timely action and correct conduct are the only true protection. If you find yourself feeling pain, observe the pain, stay with it. You will progress; knowing this is your protection.” As he stared into her lips he was snapped out of his trance with a punch to the face from Commander Red, who then jumped on top of him and began to choke the Scup out of Charley. Not 5 seconds later a small light the size of a 5mm LED shot out of Charley’s right ear and was quickly caught with a small orb by Atari. “There’s my glow bug.” She said with a grin as she pulled out a key chain from her purse and clipped the orb to it. Then throws it back in the purse and gets up sharply. “I’ll be in the bus Commander whenever you guys are done.” Charley slowly gains his senses again as the owner of the bar opens a door and says the boy’s taxi is here. Commander Red and Chris move and help Charley to find his feet and walk him to the front. “What happened?” Charley sounding hazy says, “Oh boy you’ve got to be our biggest fan,” Commander Red replied, “but you can’t mix alcohol then pot. You got to do pot first then just drink a little next time, O.K.?” “Oh yeah” Chris pulled out a TANSTAAFL pamphlet from his inner pocket and hands it to Charley. “This will help you set your life back on track, kid.” “Thanks – Oh what happened?” “Life happened Charley. Life, and you’re gonna be alright.” They were at the door of the taxi and before getting in Charley shook both their hands. “When will you guys be… he stopped mid-sentence, maybe realizing how stupid the question was. “Thanks.” “Don’t mention it Charley,“ said Chris Just keep moving forward.” Charley sat down and Chris shut the door. Commander Red then tapped on the window and Charley rolled it down. If you like that brochure and want to really change your life, look up this place sometime. He then threw a business card onto the back passenger floor board. Charley leaned over to pick it up and read the only words printed on it, “T.A.C.” Charley looked back up while saying, “Hey what does…” but they were gone. He looked at the closed sign on the door and even stuck his head out the window to look down both directions of the street. But they were gone. Charley put the card and the brochure in his pocket and asked the immigrant taxi driver to take him to Denny’s. Charley was Charley again and Charley was hungry.